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I am a boy. not some girl wearing yellow. this blog is also not about mr Othman. |
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studying in palmy, nz. |
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10:39 PM, Thursday, August 14, 2008 What defines your life? What defines you? Who are you? Switchfoot asks, "this is your life, are you who you want to be?" For the past three days, I have been wondering about who I am after personality being doubted, true self being questioned. Indeed, who am I and to whom/what do I belonged to? I looked around me, of what I owned, what I have worked my way through, what I have involved in, who have I made friends with, who do I spend my time with... so perhaps, that all defines me. Afterall, that's where I spend most my time in. Or maybe it's the number of friends I have on MSN/facebook/friendster/bebo? Maybe I should do up online profile? Perhaps it's status in my career in the future which starts now from applying for internship which are big companies? Perhaps my bank account defines me. I even signed up for paid-online survey thingie on the web to add extra few numbers in my bank account. But so what. It will all become like flowers that withers after its temporal blossom. Short-lived, momentous glory - but it all crumbles in name of meaningless. I don't want to look back from my deathbed and be proud of my bank account. Of course, I would love to be rich, but it's just not something worth dying and fighting my life for. There's got to be more. Something better. I believe I'm created for a purpose. God was my Creator and is still guiding me. Perhaps I have not been on the right path...yet. I know so because my heart burns and yearns for something more. Maybe you don't know what I am talking about but its Lord's Spirit enables me to feel this way. Maybe someday you could tell me about it yourself. I am define by who God is. His character and His plans for me. I am not defined by what people say about me. I am not defined by what people is expected of me. I am not defined by people's thoughts or opinions. I don't live by pleasing and making people happy (of course doesnt mean i go around offending ppl and acting Im boss). I am not saying all these in ignorance or arrogance. with humility. Not a statement to lash out, more like a reminder to self statements that I so often forget. I acknowledged that I have not been always right or did the right thing all the time. I am sorry for the rash things I have done or said. But it goes deeper than that. It chases my heart everyday when Im not working towards it. Stacks up; stacks up so high yet Im so blinded. One day it just start toppling off. I am tired of going in circles or avoiding the same heart issues I kept for so long. Too long. If you have some sort of situation like me; just pick yourself up again. God restores. Set focus on God again. Set priorities on how to add values to 'the' bank account. The one that matters of course. Galatians 3:26 - You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus Labels: God Saves |